PETER J.A. BOND Happy 70th (not 94th!) birthday. Love, The Remies.
£1,000 journalism awards Have you written, edited or produced great reporting on science, technology, engineering, mathematics, the environment or healthcare research in 2018? If so, enter the ABSW Science Writers’ Awards for Britain and Ireland. Categories include best student, newcomer, news, features, innovation, editor, and local or regional reporter. Deadline is 31 January 2019. http://bit.ly/ABSWAwardsPE
Birmingham woman, urgently needs £1000 ovarian cancer screening tests Anything greatly appreciated... Please forward payments to 08-71-99 50562782
Benefactors sought to support national child poverty alleviation scheme. Visit www.bridgebuilders.org.uk to watch the video or call 0333 200 4703
Two hip replacements. 47. In pain. Please help so my business doesn't go under. Thank you in advance. 30-96-17 82551868
I BOUGHT A SUPERYACHT ON EBAY. It needs refloating, and a total rebuild. Looking for adventurers or pirates to take shares in a 100 ft 1922 Gentleman's Yacht, ready to start a rebuild. For more information: firstname.lastname@example.org
ST JUDE Grateful thanks for favours received. Please continue. AMDG
Dry bedsit needed. Managed Christmas with 4yrold son in B&B SLdn. Any donations grateful. paypal.me/angelad47
Help struggling lawyer facing bankruptcy and losing home 30-91-85 07027054
NEED A PLUS ONE? Never dine, travel, shop or arrive anywhere alone courtesy of our high-end walker-style service. www.earlsandpearls.com
Seeking gentlemen between the ages of 40-80 to be introduced FREE OF CHARGE to our ladies in Glasgow, Edinburgh and Aberdeen. Are you genuine, loyal and serious about finding a partner, then please email email@example.com or call 0800 644 4140 to find out more.
Dating 4 Grown Ups Private client consultations & dating introductions for the over 40s with no upper age limit. Please contact David, who is 'Matchmaker Extraordinary'. London/South East & East Anglia 01728 635064 or 07986 213120 www.dating4grownups.co.uk
Bohemian lady 62 left/liberal London agnostic seeks similar caring male.
Looking for a lovely man for my best friend, Maria, 42. Ideally, you are kind, intellectually curious, with a backbone and marriage-minded. Possibly Catholic too. London/SE. Thank you! X
Sussex woman of interest. Mature, vibrant, stylish loves life, London, France, arts, countryside. Seeks similar gentleman with character, substance, humour. 70-80ish.
VAT problems. Tax man on your case? Speak to Eamon McNicholas! www.EamonMcNicholas.com
Yes, you can now come direct to a Barrister. Ring 020 7833 9625 or 07850 629 298 firstname.lastname@example.org
WORRIED ABOUT BEING AN EXECUTOR? We can relieve you of the burden, and give you all the help you want: whether it's just obtaining the grant of probate for you, or dealing with the whole process all the way through to production of final estate accounts. We are Probaters. Call 0845 034 7344 or check our website www.probaters.com
HAVE YOU BEEN LET DOWN BY YOUR SOLICITORS OR ARE YOU INVOLVED IN A DISPUTE? Then contact Bloomsbury Law, specializing in all aspects of Litigation, Tax Disputes, Employment, Family Law, Negligence, and Property Disputes. www.bloomsbury-law.com, 020 7998 7777. No Legal Aid.
Almost 50 complete years of Private Eye in binders (1970-now). Would require to collect. Glasgow area. 07777 650049.
Hear! Hear!... your favourite music in pristine quality on one of our fantastic hi-fi systems. At Richer Sounds we have TVs, projectors, home cinema, hi-fi and more, all at the lowest prices guaranteed. Call 0333 900 0094 for your nearest store or check out www.richersounds.com and experience better today…
Thinking Twats' T-shirts Torso-enhancing t-shirts from: www.thinkingtwatstshirts.co.uk
Exciting debut novel: The Dreams of the Eternal City by Mark Reece. Living in an age of harsh austerity, Ethan Thomas works to enforce the 'Sleep Code' - laws that regulate sleep to promote economic security. But when he develops a sleep disorder, Ethan finds himself increasingly compromised personally and professionally. Will he maintain his faith in the system he defends? Available now www.markreece.co.uk
OLD CARS - Cash paid NATIONWIDE. Condition unimportant. Also valuation services. Tel John 07375 318588 Email: email@example.com
SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE IN THREE DAYS Glowing testimonials. www.therapyretreats.com
TV Scripts, panel games & quiz show formats assessed, critiqued and enhanced for submission. Established TV comedy writer/ script editor/ developer/ producer. Enquiries: www.scriptimprover.com
Want to raise your profile? Speaking engagements, TV news appearances? www.ceo-pr.com
Daren't Google Yourself? Get rid of bad search results. Fast, fixed fee cleanup. www.online-reputation.repair
Publicity for your book. Top publicity for your book or eBook to all press, book reviewers, Radio/TV book shows, online and book bloggers. Just £195. www.prforbooks.co.uk 020 7692 0707
Speech looming? Relax, I'll write it for you. Don't waste time worrying. Lawrence 020 8245 8999 www.greatspeechwriting.co.uk
FIND ANYBODY ANYWHERE Investment Fraud - Lost Family Debt Recovery +44 (0) 7773 788389 0121 247 5550 Email: JamesBlackEsq@gmail.com www.JamesBlackEsq.com
Been Scammed? A Victim of Crime? Contact Carlton Huxley Ltd Legal & Law Enforcement Consultants. Evidence Gathering for Criminal & Civil Litigation. Tel 020 3239 5076 firstname.lastname@example.org www.carltonhuxley.com
HENRY HERBERT TAILORS. Bespoke Suitmakers. Made in England. Visit us: WC1R 4RG. www.henryherbert.com 020 7837 1452