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Worried about your own budget deficit? We have the best prices in town to help you balance your budget! Dont leave it to David Cameron, get yourself down to Richer Sounds for some huge savings. Call 0333 900 0094 for your nearest store or check out www.richersounds.com for the best TV, home cinema and hi-fi deals...


Thinking Twats’ T-shirts Torso-enhancing t-shirts from: www.thinkingtwatstshirts.co.uk


Vinyl Records. CDs. Turntables. Hi-Fi. Wanted For Cash. Contact 01427612116

01427612116


Yes we have pink pyjamas! Well, lilac check actually. www.pukkapyjamas.co.uk


Jan Sutherland, an oldie's ex-cop anti-hero - Johan Friedrich's novel 'Resistance' on Amazon or www.londinio.com/novel-resistance/


View From A Pleb, Jim Graham, Kindle. Politics has failed. Only the Plebs can save Britain now. Read how here.


Antique gifts for special occasions and favourite friends; plus fabulous accessories for crafty folk: www.goldfinchcraftandvintage.com


Can writing be taught? See MA lecturer Tom Fynn's satirical novel "Creative Writer".


Reviewers. "SLEEPING CREATURES." Suicide, State Torture, Survival:- Classic Children's Book. Amazon.


Childhood abuse? Read: Don't Come Crying Home. A boy's life in orphanages. www.troubador.co.uk


"Bravefart", a certain someone's extremely unofficial biography? Download on Amazon.

01436 677878


PALOMA AZUL Sex, drugs and violence in Ibiza. Kindle-77p. www.mi-5.net


1090 Eyes (1972-2015). NW London. Offers 07549528484.

07549528484
Eye Law


Tenacious Law Firm solves all legal problems - 02077925649 info@selachii.co.uk


Yes, you can now come direct to a Barrister. Ring 020 7833 9625 or 07850 629 298 barrister.direct.access@gmail.com


HAVE YOU BEEN LET DOWN BY YOUR SOLICITORS OR PROFESSIONAL ADVISERS? Then contact Bloomsbury Law, specializing in all aspects of Litigation, Tax Disputes, Employment, Family Law, Negligence, and Property Disputes. www.bloomsbury-law.com, 020 7998 7777. No Legal Aid.


EXECUTOR OR ADMINISTRATOR? Specialist solicitors to get you through the probate process. Grant only or full administration. Fixed fees. 0845 034 7344 www.probaters.com

Eye Love


Exclusive Mayfair Matchmaking Agency are offering London male readers complimentary open membership (30-65 years old). Our lady clients are attractive, educated, fun and fit. www.elanlondon.co.uk


Dating 4 Grown Ups. Dating introductions for the over 40's with no upper age limit. London/South East. We are able to offer a limited number of non-fee memberships to suitably eligible men. 01728 635064 - 07986 213120 www.dating4grownups.co.uk


Are you a married woman under 58, with a submissive tendency, who would enjoy discreet daytime sessions with a "sometimes man" aged 58,who is tall, dark and elegant, fit educated confident successful businessman. Absolute discretion assured and expected. Telephone number essential for initial discreet conversation to establish compatability. No singles. No sexworkers. Box Number: 138905


SEEKING SINGLE ELIGIBLE GENTLEMEN between 35-65 for introductions with successful, attractive lady members of our London dating agency. COMPLIMENTARY MEMBERSHIP to eligible gentlemen. Call Hayley 07931 743122 for more information or email contact details to info@bowes-lyonpartnership.co.uk www.bowes-lyonpartnership.co.uk


Are you male, single, aged 70-75, live in Surrey, seeking a new female partner? We have many fun, attractive, vibrant lady members to introduce you to. Call Debbie on 07808 288505 www.springintroductions.com

07808 288505


Exclusive Personal Introduction and Singles Events Agency offering limited complimentary memberships for professionals in Sussex, Surrey, Kent, Hampshire, Email us for discreet contact. tara@southdownsintroductions.co.uk


HAVE YOU SIPPED a Tom Collins at the Hilton Skylounge? Will YOU join me? You, male, single, attractive, even more so in a dim light, GSOH, successful, 40-50 with a penchant for tall leggy blondes with a big heart and soft-centre. jrh@rh-introductions.co.uk (complimentary introduction)

Eye Need


Steiner School needs donations urgently or we will close in May. Please help. www.crowdfunder.co.uk/lancaster-steiner-school. www.facebook.com/lancastersteinerschool

07772515635


ACADEMIC SEEKS DIVERSION – ANYTHING CONSIDERED! Science background, pilot’s licence. Fit, presentable. Bored and need help. Any offers? lincolnescaper@gmail.com


Cardiff University kittens memorial. Google Cardiff University kittens in our loving memory. Please generously support your local cat sanctuary. Bless you.


Smart woman, great coordinator, seeking intelligent employer with offbeat sense of humour. Conference and policy experience in central government and voluntary sector cah@ursamaior.co.uk


Private Eye strip cartoonist (housetrained) with family show at Fringe needs room in Edinburgh 20 - 31 Aug. mike@funnybusiness.biz


Not-For-Profit-Social-Enterprise seeks start-up funding of £25,000. I am developing a specialised programme using horses to support the life outcomes of children/young people who've experienced trauma and/or social deprivation. 20-24-64/33555690


I'm desperate, 30K in debt. Any help would be very gratefully received. 30-87-60 27333368


New farm and woodland needs funds to flourish. Donations welcome 804831 10831762. Email starterfarm@gmail.com to visit.


Funds urgently needed to save viable Language School business. Please help. info@nowenglish.co.uk

01295 270676


SKINT BIOLOGY STUDENT. Research trip to Amazon booked. Please help! 52-41-27 44129254


Pioneering, inspirational, survivor-led suicide prevention charity, providing intensive support to at-risk clients, seeks funds for its ongoing work. www.suicidecrisis.co.uk


Ex-City Girl can't take the heat! Needs £8,300 towards a new degree: please can you help? angel-fund@mail.com

Eye Property


PASSIVHAUS for sale in award winning cohousing community £350,000 Lancaster UK. For more details contact: vinechristine@yahoo.co.uk

Eye Travel


Devon. Self-catering. Superb barn conversion, own grounds, sleeps 6. www.fordbarn.co.uk. Tel 01769 580381.


Fab ol' style Florida treehouse on Sanibel Island. Nature preserve, world class golfing, fishing, sailing and the best shelling in the world. www.sanibeltreehouse.com michellecalvert58@gmail.com


PAXOS, Kefalonia, Epirus, Symi. Lovely villas, all sizes, flexi stays, quality service, specialist knowledge. www.travelalacarte.co.uk. ABTA V2429 02072869255


Solva, Pembrokeshire. Spacious and luxurious holiday rental.Perfect for family holidays.www.oldcoachhousesolva.co.uk


Attractive couple, mid 40s, seek broad-minded woman aged 25 to 45 to spend a couple of weeks at their home in Southern France over the summer. Duties will include some light housekeeping, a little babysitting, and generally providing distraction around the pool. Ability to contribute to eclectic conversation a must. Appetite for delicious food and wine essential. Generous remuneration, flights and accommodation.


CLASSIC CAR OWNER? Leisurely, refined, interesting, escorted tours UK/Europe. www.countrylanetours.co.uk

01824790280


Redeem Your Frequent Flyer Miles. Expert Help. Flat Rates. aglobalview.com

Eye Services


Carlton Huxley Ltd Legal & Law Enforcement Consultants Investigative and Legal Services for problems Large or small. Tel 0203 239 5076 contact@carltonhuxley.com www.carltonhuxley.com


BMW bike parts new and used. Fast international mail order. www.motorworks.co.uk 01484 353600


Speech looming? Relax, I'll write it for you. Don't waste time worrying. Lawrence 020 8245 8999 www.greatspeechwriting.co.uk


Want to raise your profile? Speaking engagements, TV news appearances? www.ceo-pr.com


Blacksmithing inspirational weekend beginners' courses, Surrey. Marvellous birthday present! www.blacksmithing-school.co.uk


Publicity for your book. Top publicity for your book or eBook to all press, book reviewers, Radio/TV book shows, online and book bloggers. Just £195. www.prforbooks.co.uk 0207 692 0707


Daren't Google Yourself? Get rid of bad search results. Fast, fixed fee cleanup. www.online-reputation.repair


Personalised cryptic crosswords: the perfect birthday present! From £100. www.customcrypticcrosswords.com


Want more from life? Want to feel better? Totally confidential, mature, professional, no-gimmicks coaching, via Skype or phone 07903 165026 www.vtlifecoach.com

07903165026


ESCAPE FROM EXCEL! Running your business on spreadsheets? Let Philip help you switch to Filemaker, a simple, powerful, flexible database system. Perfect for small businesses, inexpensive, easy to use. phil@filemakerphil.co.uk


Mature writers for online/print glossy lifestyle magazine. We are looking for folk who enjoy socialising and writing about life and activities in and around the Chiltern area - including Oxford, Leamington Spa, Stratford-upon-Avon, Birmingham and also the villages and towns between and including London? Subjects include reviews, interviewing local celebrities or promoting activities such as the arts in your local area? Our venture is being mentored by Prime - the Prince's Initiative for Mature Enterprise. Please contact avriloconnor@hotmail.com


Commission a unique song for someone special www.songformybaby.com


Experienced Yacht captain looking for new horizons. Sail, power or steam. Good references jjlodger@gmail.com 0033607522913

0033607522913


Great British Bespoke. Henry Herbert Tailors. Bespoke Suitmakers. Visit us: WC1X 8ED. www.henryherbert.com. 020 7837 1452


Find Anybody Anywhere. Private Eye's Private Eye. 07773 788389 0121 247 5550 JamesBlackEsq@Gmail.com www.JamesBlackEsq.com www.linkedin.com/in/jamesblackesq

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Read how government wasted over £234 billion of taxpayer money through fraud, error and inefficiency at www.governmentwaste.info